Leftovers are Berry Good

For four years now, I have been living (and growing) on leftovers. And I think most other moms are the same.

This morning I ate a blackberry leftover from Summy's breakfast, and it tasted strange and new.

Then I realized it was because it was strange and new. Though I've been buying them for my berry monster for years, there usually aren't any that Summy leaves behind. I think that this is the first time I tasted a blackberry.

Some other usual culprits: crust cut off from a grilled cheese sandwich, half of a cold hard waffle, congealed pasta from a lunch box, a slice of two of apple that's turned dark, and so on.

I don't know exactly what it is that makes them so, but Summy's leftovers, even when cold and old, are always so yummy.

What's New With Summy

I was always sure as a non-parent (and as parent of a baby and parent of toddler and parent of pre-schooler) that I would not have an over-scheduled kid, that my child would have lots of free unstructured time to play.

Ofcourse, now I'm the parent of an over-scheduled kid. But hey, I'm also a million other things that I said I'd never be.

And the over-scheduled kid is handling it well so far, and likes being busy. It is much better than the days when she would just sit at home in the afternoons and watch TV or play on the computer.

We started out with Tae Kwon Do. It started out all fun and games, but now I occasionally see a more serious, focused, and disciplined side of Summy. Still, Summy is Summy. She can't help giggling at something absurd in the middle of the class sometimes, and I vote for her as the little warrior most likely to smile at somebody or something.

Then we added Chess Club in school, at her request. Ever since she started that, she keeps begging me to play chess with her. The game's too complicated for me - it actually makes my head hurt. I try to convince her to play something like Chinese Checkers or Parcheesi instead, but Kiran obliges her every time. And sometimes, when Kiran is multi-tasking and distracted, she even beats him at chess.

Then we added Ballet, again her choice. She loves this, ofcourse, pretty outfits, pretty music, pretty moves and all.

Then came Drawing class at school, at her insistence. After the last session ended, I persuaded her to do her drawing at home for now, to lessen her load a little. Besides, she is so much more creative at home. She is not the color-neatly-within-the-lines kind of artist.

And then there was T-Ball. This was Kiran's choice, and a good one, because this is the only outdoor activity and she loves it. The grass, the dirt, the uniform, the glove, the all-girl team, playing with Daddy on weekends, everything.

And she wants to fit swimming in, when time permits.

All in all, I think it's a good life. Do a little bit of this, a little bit of that, throw in some games, a little music, a few steps of dance, maybe even try acting (it is LA after all). Meet new kids, make new friends. And continue with the things she loves.

Why so busy?

There was a time when I updated my blog at least once a week. I was busy then too - I took care of Summy, cooked dinners, and worked full time as a software engineer. But I still had time to write.

Now that I am at home, how long has it been since I updated? I think Summy has grown an inch since I wrote last. That's because I'm working a full time job for my daughter right now.

Walk her here, drive her there, cook for her, teach her, play with her.

As I speak: I got her outfitted, practised and organized for a ballet recital today; am working on three science projects with her (we will pick the least smelly one next week and submit it to the science fair - don't ask); preparing and practising with her every day for a Tae-Kwon-Do belt test; preparing to celebrate her birthday in two weeks; volunteering in her class every Tuesday.

And that is besides the routine making breakfasts, lunches, after-school snacks, dinners, kindergarten homework, extra first-grade workbooks that she does with me in exchange for me playing chess with her (her new favorite game), arts, crafts, and bedtime stories.

And that is on top of the regular household stuff like laundry, vacuuming, dishes, grocery shopping, and so on. And learning new technology on the side to keep myself updated, and occasional spurts of job-hunting.

When I started writing this post about me working for Summy - I was being funny, because I think of myself as lazy. But after reading what I wrote - Holy Guacamole! It is true, I really am swamped.

So there. That's why so busy.

Butterflies in my stomach

I recently volunteered at Summy's school for the first time. The day before, I told her I was going to be in her classroom. I asked if she was excited, and she said she was. I was too. I asked what the volunteeers usually did in her classroom. She said they helped out with activities.

Then, after a brief pause: "I know it's your first time, Amma, but be brave!"

Surprised, I say, "Okay."

"There are going to be a lot more kids than you think!"

For a while there, almost six years, I was the invincible super Mom. No more. She realizes that even her mother can be afraid, shy, and not so perfect.

But though I did have a butterfly in my tummy, it had nothing to do with being at Summy's school. It was this "Butterfly Award" that the Litterateuse sent me, which I swallowed up willingly.

This is so unexpected!!! (That is what I would have said if G hadn't already told me days ago).

I don't know what to say! (Gee, Thanks, G!)

In turn, here is my list of coolest blogs:

Litterateuse: Possibly, she's brought you here. She's new on the blogk, and here is a warm welcome to her. The title is very apt, and hers is one of the most entertaining, cool, clever, and punny blogs I've ever read. (and I'm not just scratching her back)

Winkie's Way: Beautiful, poetic, touching, funny, insightful. Way cool.

A Few Seasons Worth: Writes well and is so honest that it has got to be cool.

This Butterfly has already touched the Litterateuse (the idea of which I know makes her shudder). Tharini of Winkie's Way is on vacation. And I was only a lurker on A Few Seasons Worth and I don't know if Anumita will take this up. I do hope that this will get passed on.

An Entertaining Teacher

I decide to slow down writing on this blog, and the next day I remember a million things that I meant to say but never did.

Ever since Summy started going to school, I've noticed that she knows a lot of little things. "Soaring, " she tells me one day, "is when you don't flap your wings but spread them out and let the air carry you high above". Impressed, I ask, "Did your teacher tell you that?". "No, I saw it on Diego.". On TV.

She keeps telling me little facts like these, and when I ask her whether she learned it at school, she'll say, "No, I learned it on Backyardigans." Or Blue's Clues. Or Dora.

Finally, one day, she says, "See, I do learn some things from TV." (this is a comeback to what I had said weeks ago - that her mind would go blank if she watched too much TV). And I have to admit, it's true. For now.

Age Appropriate

Summy always checks the recommended age on a toy before getting it for anybody.

Today, we were shopping for a birthday present for one of Summy's friends. Summy stopped to look at an interesting toy, and then suddenly sighed. She said, "Never mind.".

"Why?"

"You have to be 20+ to play with this."

The box did say "20+", but what they meant was that there were more than 20 pieces to play with inside. When I pointed that out, Summy found it funny too, and laughed at herself.

Talking about age appropriate, this blog has slowed down considerably, and not for lack of material. Summy is just growing up, she is almost six, and I feel funny writing about her in a public blog.

It has been so fun sharing my Summy stories with all who have been reading. Thank you so much for visiting.

Edited to add, and in response to D: I didn't want that last line to be a parting shot, and reading it again, I feel that my post was too curt and cool (but it was just written while I was sleepy). I mean those thanks very warmly - it has been nice writing on this blog, but what made a big difference was to be read and be responded to.

I will still want to keep writing, either on this one or another, new, one, as long as you keep reading, D :)

Little Star

Summy's school has a star system in which kids get stars everyday for good behavior. When they get enough stars, they get to visit a "treasure box" and pick a small prize.

She picked a tiny picture of a kitten in a frame. She gave it to me and told me to keep it. So I said, "Oh no, Summy, you keep it. You earned it."

Her reply: "Mommy, I earned it for you."

She's also earned a tiny phone book for Kiran.

Deja Vu

Today I stayed to watch Assembly at school. Across the oceans, across a generation, Assembly is exactly the same here as it was in my school when I was a kid. It's partly exhilarating (as long as the marching music is on and the songs are sung) and partly boring (with the principal's messages to not run in the hallways and the older kids reading essays).

When I went to school, I was the one who always forgot things. I forgot to bring my textbooks, notebooks, homework to school. I forgot to bring my lunch box, water bottle, back home. I was late half the time. Luckily I have a mother who was (and is) very organized and wouldn't forget a thing.

Now that it's my turn to be the cool, calm, collected mother, I'm even more flustered. I forget to send the water bottle one day, the library book the other. The day before, as I walked her to school, I realized that I left her fully-packed backpack at home. And if it's hard being the kid who always forgets things, can you imagine how hard it is to be the mother who has to explain to the teacher that she forgot the whole backpack at home - lunch, absence note, homework, and all?

I am grown up with a child of my own, but talking to a teacher still makes me nervous. Can I say that?

Mickey Mouse

We see Mickey almost every Sunday at Disneyland - original and authentic. But Summy always hides behind me and Kiran when he comes too close. She is scared and suspicious of people in costumes.

But the other day, on Hollywood Boulevard, among the Elvises and Marilyn Monroes, there was a Mickey Mouse in a threadbare costume. He was posing for photos with kids, for a dollar or so. She goes right up to him, gets a picture, gives him a hug, and then tells him, "Mickey, I see you on TV."

Kinder'gardener'

Little sunflower that Summy planted, and cared for by herself, and is very proud of.

There is a small patio attached to the apartment, and out there are some pots, soil, shovel, watering can, seeds, and freedom to plant what she wants and get as dirty as she likes. As a result, we've had lots of flowers, and a bumper crop of tomatoes (considering that there were just two tomato plants growing in a very narrow strip of dirt along the patio fence).

When she heard the word "Kindergartener" on TV, she reasoned out - "Well, I go to Kindergarten, and I'm a gardener - so I guess I'm a Kinder'gardener'."

Sweet Holiday

Until Kindergarten started, I didn't realize that school meant going everyday - she cannot just stay home when we feel like it.

So when it was her first holiday from school yesterday, we made it a fun day. She wanted to make cupcakes from scratch, so we found a recipe, she wrote a shopping list, and we went grocery shopping. Then we made cupcakes, and while they baked, watched a princess movie together. We ended the day with going to the park.

First Homework: Self Portrait

(Birds and Flowers optional)

Artist at Work

Kindergarten

Finally started going to Kindergarten last Thursday. The little lady did not seem especially excited, but took it in stride. She walked with me to school as if she'd always been doing it.

We found the classroom. There were chairs around two tables, with new pencilboxes on the tables with the children's names on them. Right away, she found the box with her name, and sat in the chair to check it out. She glowed a little on finding a brand new box of crayons, a pencil, and scissors inside.

Their teacher gave them coloring pages while she talked to the parents and explained procedures and rules. Then it was time for us to leave.

Here was where she was to cry and cling to me, I was supposed to hold back tears while reassuring her I would be back later.

I remember the Kindergarten kids in my own school would cry for the whole first month. The whole Kindergarten area would be full of sniffling and wailing cuties.

Except, she is now five and a half years old, and we already had that tearful scene more than four years ago in daycare.

So, I said bye. She ignored me. I said I would be back later, and gave her a hug. And then I was gone. She was in school by herself. Just like that. Coloring a picture with the same pout that she had on when focusing on something, ever since she was a baby.

I went back to pick her up at the school gate. I have to wait there until she sees me and tells her teacher I'm there. Then we walked back home, while she told me about her new classroom, her new teacher, her new friend, and (last but not least) her new pencil box.

Only after four days, today she confessed to me. "Before I went to this new school, I was a little scared how the new school would be. But now I am not." I am surprised that the little babbler, who can't keep one thought that enters her head from escaping through her mouth, would keep this to herself for so long.

So, school is going well. I enjoy the walk with her to school, with her backpack and her lunch bag. She enjoys being among kids again.

There are a few dark moments, like when I realized that the gates would close at 8:40 AM and if I brought her to school later than that, she would get a tardy slip. The nightmares from my childhood are back again, as I procrastinate as usual and run at the last minute(this time, with Summy) to rush into the gate before it closes up like in an Indiana Jones movie.

I still remember me being late atleast once every week, waiting outside the gates, and the gates finally opening to let out Sister Romana (our principal), running after us into school while waving a long ruler menacingly (while managing to never actually hit anybody with it).

Ah, school days are back for me too. I still carry the weight of unfinished homework, in the form of paperwork that her teacher is sending home every week for me to finish.

It's wonderful to see Summy as a Kindergarten kid.

Hairy Pot

When she said, "He looks like Hairy Pot.", pointing to a boy wearing glasses, I had no idea what she meant for a minute.

It was Harry Potter.

Swimming

Here to log a milestone.

After going to swim classes for four weeks, Summy is swimming with her head under water for a few feet at a stretch, with no floaties or other support. Watching her holding her breath for so long, makes me breathless.

She has to learn a lot of things, the first being coming up to take a breath. But still, it is exciting to see her do something that I've never done myself.

Bhel Puri

It's been over a month since Summy and I got to Hyderabad. In fact, in a couple of weeks, it will be time to leave. Obviously, I had a lot more to write and remember about than the measly two posts than I put in.

Ever since we started on our long flight from Los Angeles to Hyderabad, I've been typing away in my head, but little of it got far enough to make it to this blog (which might be a good thing after all).

I remember only a few of the most interesting details of our travel and our stay.

One day, Summy brought home a couple of small kids from next door, while my mother and I were out. She looked at my father and ordered, "Make Boost, Thatha!" When her grandfather told her he didn't know where the Boost was and to wait for grandma, she went in the kitchen, got out some Pringles and served them to her pint-sized guests. She usually doesn't let any of her friends leave without having a snack.

Another time, while we were with Kiran's parents, she asked Kiran's father to play hide-and-seek. My father-in-law dutifully hid behind some curtains. Summy looked about a little before asking her grandma where her grandpa was. Not knowing what was going on, her grandma replied that she didn't know.

After hiding behind the curtains for as long as he could stand, grandpa came out, and what did he find? Summy had forgotten all about the game and was picking flowers in the yard with her grandma.

Summy's taken to India like she has been here all along.

Summy roams the flats, goes off to find her friends by herself (which was unthinkable back in California), and her friends come home without having to make a date first. This is the way it always was for me when I was a kid, but it is a first for Summy. Thanks to her friends, Summy's English is now more Indian than mine.

I too have taken to being here quite well. I cross roads, go around in autos, talk in a mix of Telugu, Hindi, Urdu and English.

Hyderabad is spicy - a mix of people, traffic, pollution, honking, colorful clothes, shoving, rudeness, and when you least expect it, the kindness of strangers.

The USA, even colorful South California, is much more bland.The orderliness that makes it looks like a wonderful place to live, also makes it taste like Dry Crackers compared to the Bhel Puri that is Hyderabad.

Still, Summy and I look forward to going back home, where Kiran waits impatiently for us.

Crossing Over to the Other Side

We are still in Hyderabad.

I was crossing the dangerously and terrifyingly chaotic Ameerpet intersection today.

Some businesses say "The customer is always right.". In Hyderabad, the slogan goes (or should): The pedestrian is always wrong. So what if the traffic signal is at red? So what if I'm on the zebra crossing lines? Bikes, autos, cars, buses honk indignantly as I cross the road, because I obstruct them moving an inch or two further.

Someone touched my elbow. I expected somebody I knew, but this was a young girl I'd never seen before. We stepped across the road together. A car came perilously close, and as far as we could tell, the driver cared as much for our safety as for that of a couple of bugs.

Involuntarily we grabbed each other's hand and squeezed tight. After that we held hands as we crossed the road, and smiled before going our separate ways.

Old Friends

We are in India.

While Summy has fun with her old friends, her grandparents, I had the chance to meet three of my own old friends. One of them, I had the luck to live close to for several recent years. I hadn't seen another of them in a long time. Another one, she remembered that the last time we had seen each other was twelve years ago. I was newly wed and was getting on a train to Mumbai and to my in-laws house, to go onward to the USA to study, and she was waving at me. Now they all have two kids each, most of whom I had read eagerly about but had never seen before.

They knew things about me and hadn't forgotten. When I faked knowledge of something, my old friend laughed and said, "I know she knows as much of it as I do (which was precious little)". There is no fooling old friends, and there is relief in not having to.

Ocean Art

At the bottom is the ocean, and in the ocean is seaweed. Looking closely, waves can be seen on surface of the water.

To the left, there is a sand beach, beyond the sand are some trees. The little pink angel like figure next to the trees is Summy.

To the right is a cliff. On the edge of the cliff is a car, enjoying the scenic view. The cliff is quite tall, so there is a cloud passing right past the car.

The sun is setting, and colorful birds are flying home in the sky. To add a touch of fantasy, the purple splotch above the sun is Chitti Chitti Bang Bang (the flying car from the movie of that name).

The art was done at school when the kids were given paints and paper, and a free hand to make what they wanted.



Here she is in one of the places that give her inspiration.

Solemn Pledge

This morning, Summy put her right hand on her heart, and started to recite:

"I plejjalleeshance to the flag of the United States of America, and to the Republics of Justin Stan, One nation, Underdog, The Invisibles, for all."

She told me she learned it at school.

For reference, here is the more conventional version of the pledge of allegiance:

"I pledge allegiance to the flag of the United States of America, and to the Republic for which it stands, one Nation under God, indivisible, with liberty and justice for all."

Patiosphere

We have a wild little yard, considering that all the yard we got is a little concrete patio attached to our apartment.

It's much easier to maintain and enjoy a small yard, I think. When we had a (relatively) huge backyard, every plant that I touched dried and withered away. Except the mint, which grew into a mint jungle and started to take over the lawn.

Anyway, I'm wandering.

We have a few pots of plants that Summy and I maintain painstakingly. I had no idea how many pests want a piece of the plants. We dealt with aphids, ants, mildew, unwanted mushrooms, and caterpillars, all as humanely as possible (except the mushrooms, which make my skin crawl).

So we now have a few flowers blooming, and a couple of strawberry plants producing fruit at the rate of about one a week (which is great, but we supplement our one homegrown strawberry with four quarts of strawberries from the market every week). A few tomato plants starting to flower, some herbs, hot pepper plants in various stages, and a few snow pea vines that some mystery creature is eating up.

Most of these things were planted by Summy. She does not read the instructions on seed packets, she does not do research online, but somehow she gets it right if left to herself with some dirt and water.

That's it for the Flora. As for the Fauna:

We had a small wasp's nest on the fence that we took out. The wasps started working on a new one right away, and it was fascinating to see. We haven't yet had the heart to take down their new nest. They are peaceful and hardworking creatures.

We found a caterpillar having lunch on a strawberry leaf, and he got put into a bowl with dirt and leaves in it. Summy watched the caterpillar very carefully, but after looking down at all the leaves, the caterpillar decided this place wasn't for him and escaped while she wasn't looking. Ofcourse he got named before he left - Fuzzy.

We have a couple of spiders that spin the most beautiful webs. I take the webs down every now and then, just because they make the patio look unkempt. But they don't care, they always spin them again.

And ofcourse there are the ants, ladybugs, and plenty of other funny looking insects. Summy will get them into a bowl and observe before reluctantly letting them off to "go find their mommies and daddies and kids".

So much life in a few square feet, and these are only the things we can see.

Extreme Measures

When we lived in Shrewsbury, we measured Summy's increasing height against a wall with pencil markings. We didn't disassemble that piece of wall to bring with us when we moved, though we would have liked to. So now there is no wall to measure against.

But Summy's found her own way - she stands against me or Kiran to see how much taller she's grown.

The other day, I was walking behind her on a path. In front of Summy was another little girl, carrying a skateboard under her arm. Summy quietly walked closer behind the girl, while measuring herself against the girl with her hand on top of her head. After deciding that the girl was probably about "the same tall as me", and hence, the same age, she caught up with her and made small talk.

Not that she would have not talked with an older kid. She loves older kids. And little toddlers. And babies. But especially kids who are the same size as her.

Miss Calculator

Every once in a while, Summy does something that seems amazing to me. What things our kids do aren't amazing, no matter how trivial?

She adds small numbers, but that's not what's amazing. She does it inside her head, no fingers or dots on paper. She does not remember that six and five make eleven. So that's not what I mean when I say she does it in her head.

She closes her eyes and as far as I can understand, she visualizes six things and five more things. And then counts them to get the total. It might sound simple enough, but I've tried it and it's hard for me.

Miss Calculator does miscalculate now and then, but still, it's impressive to me.

Illiterate Parents

This happened a while ago, but I forgot to blog about it until Kiran reminded me. Summy had learned how to write, even though she didn't know how to spell.

She wrote pages and pages of stuff and brought it to us to read. "What did you write, Summy?", I asked, looking at what seemed like gibberish.

"I don't know?" she said. "I can't read it. You're the one who knows to read! What does it say?"

What logic!

Shhhh.... It's a secret

The other day I asked Summy what she did at school, and she replied, "We were making special jewellery boxes for Mommies."

Then, smiling sheepishly, she said, "Oops. I was not supposed to tell you that."

By this time, the Mothers Day secret was out, but I promised her that I would forget she ever told me.

Kiran was in Japan, and while talking to him on the phone night, he asked Summy what she had done that day. This time she was more careful. She whispered into the phone, "I made a jewellery box for Mama." He couldn't hear her at all and kept saying "What?", but I could very well.

Nothing is as precious, even a jewellery box, as a five-year old trying to keep a secret.

Mashpotams

Summy was eating strawberries and asking me if they were good for her. "Yes", I said, "They have antioxidants and are very good for you."

"Bananas are good for you too", she said. "They have lots of mashpotams."

"You're right", I agreed, smiling. "They do have lots of potassium."

Something smells fishy

Oh yeah, that's Summy's fish.

Summy picked them, Dad brought them home. Summy wrote fish to-do lists. Dad set up their tank. But who spends the whole day with them? Mommy.

We asked for sturdy fish that could survive a family who didn't know anything about fish. The guy at the store pointed at some fish that were kept individually in cups, and recommended that we bring home one male and two females to put in the tank.

At home, we put them all in the tank and went to sleep. The next morning, Kiran left for work, Summy went to school. I was working on the computer but all I could see was the fish chasing each other out of the corner of my eye.

It just so happened that these tough fish were Betta Splendens, also called the Siamese Fighting Fish for a good reason. And there could have been no worse advice than to put a male and females in one tank. The male Bettas are very very aggressive and don't tolerate others of their kind in close proximity, be they male or female. This is why (duh!), unlike the rest of the fish in the store, the Bettas were kept in individual cups. Ofcourse now I know that, after having watched Blackfish (the boy) terrorize Coffee and Angelina (the girls) and nip their tails.

Finally, I couldn't stand it anymore. I went back to the store for advice, and this time the advice was no better. They said I could return Coffee and Angelina for a refund.

How could I return fish that Summy had named? How could I put the fish back into the little tiny cups after they had the whole tank to swim in? How would I know that after I returned them, they wouldn't just be flushed down a big toilet that was specially built for the fish? The truth was that I hadn't "bonded" with the fish (that must be the zaniest sentence I ever wrote). But for better or for worse, we had got them and we had to care for them, even if they were just fish.

I divided the tank into two with a net, and isolated Blackfish on one side. Within two minutes, the two girls figured out that Blackfish couldn't get at them, and they seemed to enjoy staying right on the other side of the net and staring coolly at Blackfish as he went nuts trying to get at them.

So we took him out of the tank altogether, and put him in his own bowl. For now, everyfish seems happy, even though the two girls have little fish fights.

Now that there is less conflict, it's happier to watch them everyday. They are tiny little creatures one inch long, and I expected they'll just swim around aimlessly, all the same way. But each has its quirks. When I turn off the filter in their tank, they know food is coming. They seem to have good memories. Angelina prefers small pieces of fish food, while Coffee will eat anything. Blackfish is kind of picky, but he loves peas (I found out from Mother Internet that some fish can eat some vegetables).

And yes, now we've bonded with the fish.

TV and Junk Food

I am not a great mother - I try to be good, but I know that I make many many mistakes.

Summy wasn't much interested in either TV or junk food before we moved to California. Once we came here, her school was very laidback in every way, including food.

For every holiday she brings home goodie bags filled with candy, and one of her teachers actually rewards good behavior with candy. Still, we threw out most of it because she didn't eat it. I kept a jar of candy out in the open at home and it rarely got touched. No restrictions, she could have it anytime she wanted - even before mealtimes. Because, she just wasn't interested.

But slowly, as I started giving her quick convenient "snacks" and she got the same at school, she developed a taste for Starburst, chocolate, Oreos, and Cheetos (all unheard of six months ago).

Also, back home in Massachusetts, the only TV we watched was PBS - for half an hour in the morning on some days, no ads. After an hour or so, she would usually get bored and switch off the TV herself. So again, there were no restrictions on TV. She could watch it anytime she wanted. Because, she just wasn't into it that much.

We move to California, and new cable, and here there's a kid channel that keeps going 24/7. Besides that, there's several on-demand kids shows. Whenever I had to study or cook dinner, I would just turn the TV on. Slowly, especially in the last few weeks, she turned into a zombie, lying down on the couch and just staring at the TV for an hour or two every day (and wanting more).

So I put away the candy jar inside the closet, out of reach, and tried not to turn the TV on so much. Didn't work very well. She still asked for candy at the store, and TV at home.

I panicked - here I had a good thing; a great thing - a kid who loved her vegetables and fruit and didn't even like candy and chips, and liked to get around and play instead of sit down and watch TV - and I went and ruined it. I took it so much for granted and thought she would always be that way.

Luckily, the damage seems to be reversible. I've started to show her strawberries or oranges instead when she asks for junk food. She still has a choice, but she mostly chooses the fruit. Ofcourse she chose the junk before, because I wasn't giving her another good option - I would ask her if she would like fruit instead, but that isn't as good as a visual of a bowl of juicy red strawberries.

And the past few evenings, when she asks for TV, I've been saying "Let's play.". I've never seen her choose TV over companionship once. And it still hasn't changed. Her bored expression goes away and her face lights up at the sugggestion of doing something together. It makes me sad to think of all the times she sat on the couch and said "Can I have some TV now?" because she knew the answer if she asked me to play with her - "I'm too busy right now, Summy.".

I remember one day, she drew a sad face instead of the happy faces she usually draws. I asked her why the little boy was sad, and she said, "The little boy was sad because when they were going to school his mommy said they could go to the park in the evening but in the evening they had to go to Ralphs for groceries and they couldn't go the park because his mommy said they runned out of time." in one breath. A not-at-all subtle dig at me. Broken promises have happened to us several times in the past few months.

In all the bad things I've done as a mom, I think getting my priorities wrong and letting her down this way, was one of the worst. I am lucky that Summy is small enough to not even realize that I've done wrong, and even when she realizes it she forgives so easily. At the end of the day, she always hugs me and says "You are the bestest mom in the whole world.". And I feel like a fraud.

Wee as in Wictory

Inspite of being misunderstood countless times since I came to the USA, I still used to think I talk English okay. Until now.

Summy realized that I just didn't know how to say some things. Hey, I realized that I don't know how to say many things.

For example, today I was talking to her about her friend Owen. She said "What?". I repeated myself. She said, "Who?". After saying it three or four times, she says, "Oh, you mean Ohwen!". It seems that I had been calling her friend an oven.

The other day, I was telling her how to spell van, when she stopped me. "Amma, say vee. Not wee."

I say, "That's what I said: Wee!"

"Not wee. Say vee."

"Wee!"

"Vvvvv... Vvvvv.... Vvvveeee!"

"Www... Www... Wheeee!"

At this she doubled over laughing. Then she realized I wasn't just kidding around, I really couldn't tell the difference between "V" and "W".

In school, an English teacher taught us how to say "W" - always start a w by rounding your mouth - and pressed on us to say "water" not "vater". So that's how I say "w", only apparently now I don't know how to say "v" anymore.

Summy was even more persistent than my English teacher and wouldn't let me go until I said it the right way. So now I know: to say "V", one has to touch the inside of the lower lip with the upper teeth.

Ve both emerged wictorious.

But I still can't really tell the difference between v and w unless I try really hard. Sometimes, while driving by myself, I find myself going "Vee. Wee. Vee. Whee." People stopped next to me at red traffic lights think either that I'm crazy, or that I'm having a lot of fun.

Actually, it's both.

It's "afishll" - we are now five

Summy turned five last month (and ofcourse, we turned five as mother and father).

The celebration was quiet and peaceful, unlike the last two years where she had birthday parties with all her class invited.

This time we brought the party to the class, with pizza and cake. Her teachers made a special birthday crown for her. When the cake was put in front of her, her friends and teachers gathered around, and every one sang Happy Birthday, the look on her face was unforgettable. It was one of pure happiness. The same look was on her face at the same moment last year, and the year before that.

This may sound like a greeting card, but Summy: May you always be surrounded by lots of friends and loved ones, and have many many more happy times.

Kiran brought Summy a small aquarium and three fish as she is now five and considered responsible enough to care for pets. She is responsible all right, in a managerial sort of way - she wrote me down a list of things to do to care for the fish.

I quote her list, numbers and all:

1 FEED THE FISH
2 THE FIISH WANT AA HIDINGPLACE (I had to go buy decorations to put in their tank to hide in when they are shy)
3 UYOWWWTOGIVE

She signed her name on the bottom, drew pictures of three fish on it, and to show me how official the list is, she wrote "A FISHLL" on top (she had already asked me how to spell "fish", and she figured that official must probably be spelled with a "fish" in it). The list is still taped to the aquarium stand.

The list seemed to have worked because the fish are still swimming around.

Family Fun

Until six months ago, the most adventurous ride I'd been on would have been a giant wheel (in the Hyderabad Exhibition).

But now things are different. It's hard to go to Disneyland every Sunday (as we do now) and get away with saying, "I won't do that ride, or that one, or that one. I'll do the little kiddie carousel though."

Summy was taking Kiran on all the little roller coaster rides that she is allowed to ride on, and she always wants the biggest ones. I stayed on the sidelines, "watching the stroller", until one day the two of them persuaded me to go on a tame little coaster. ("It's okay, Mama. I'll be right next to you and hold your hand.")

Slowly she worked us up to "Space Mountain", which is a relatively small roller coaster, except it's in total darkness, only lit up by "stars". It is very fun once you do get used to it!

And now, Kiran and I have started to take turns to go on rides that Summy is too short to go on. Yesterday we tried the Maliboomer, which is a kind of ride called a Space Shot. They put you in a chair with your feet dangling, with a plexiglass shield that goes around your head so that the nice residential city of Anaheim is not disturbed by your screams as you are shot up 180 ft in 4 seconds and then dropped down into a free fall. Despite sounding and looking scary, this is fun as well. Summy lived vicariously through our rides, unable to meet the 52 inch height requirement even while trying her best to stand on the tippiest tips of her tippy toes. But she did go on the kid version of the same ride, called Jumping Jellyfish.

You'd think having children would make you feel older, but the opposite is also true. Children give you a second chance at being a kid.

As George Bernard Shaw said, "We don't stop playing because we grow old; we grow old because we stop playing.".

A Guide to Making Friends

Very useful for shy people like me:

1) Keep an eye out for a person who seems interesting.

2) Once you spot an interesting person, walk up to them. Step right in front of them and make eye contact.

3) If they don't say anything, continue to stare closely at whatever it is they are doing, and comment on it.

4) If they do not respond to this, bounce up and down while saying "Look what I can do!". If you can do cartwheels, do a cartwheel or two now.

5) If they still haven't said anything, it's time to stop being so very subtle. Say "Will you be my friend?".

It always works for Summy, so it should work for any of us. Right?

Cabbages and Edamame

I'm still at home while I'm working on learning new things and writing new exams. Life is pretty laid-back and the only things I have to do are cook and study. Still these things somehow stretch out to take the whole day and I find less time to do things like updating this blog.

One thing that I've learned to love in the last six months is to cook.

Maybe it's the fresh veggies from the farmers market: I take pleasure in buying veggies every Saturday and making sure they are eaten up before the next Saturday rolls around.

Maybe it's the extra time I have to think about what to make: While I'm driving around I'm making up dishes in my head like cabbage with potatoes and soybeans or edamame (which doesn't taste so bad, by the way!).

Maybe it's the computer that's right next to the kitchen, so I can put bokchoy, broccoli, and potatoes on the counter, wipe my hands on the towel, google for the unlikely "bok choy dal" and "broccoli alu curry", and amazingly have recipes turn up.

Whatever it is, it's a good thing I like to cook because now I have to turn out lunches for the little lady every day.

It's much harder than I thought it would be, considering that at home she eats anything that I cook (and when I ask, she almost always tells me that it's good). But I used to send lunches that came back uneaten no matter what they were, and I finally understood the moms who agonize about what to pack for lunch.

For now, things are all right, as I figured out that lunches need to be a little more gourmet than jelly sandwiches or pasta and tomato sauce. Current menu items are carrot or tomato fried rice, garnished with cilantro, pasta with cheese sauce and broccoli, chickpeas with seasoning, chapatis and yogurt with soybeans on the side, cherry tomatoes, vegetable pulihora (!!!) and occasionally Maggi. She's eating these now, but next week might be a new challenge.

At home though, she is a pleasure to cook for, as is Kiran. They'll both eat anything I cook and relish it, no matter how strange it might sound. Thank you, you two!

Monthly Journals

I am terrible at keeping up Summy's blog these days. But Summy has been helping out with a different kind of journal at school.

The teacher sits the kids down at the table, one at a time, and has them draw a picture from their life, anything that they like, in their own special monthly journal. Then the kid talks about their picture, and the teacher writes it down verbatim. At the end of the month, the teacher sends the journal home. It's up to the kids to decide whether they want to do the journal that day or not, so they are not forced to sit down and do this even when they have "writer's" block (just like I frequently get blogger's blogck).

I'll post excerpts and pictures from the journals once Kiran comes back from the South Pole next week and brings the camera back with him. Not the South Pole, really, that's just Summy's slip-up for Sao Paolo. ("When are you coming back from South Pole, Daddy? - I'm making fun of what she said, but she's pretty savvy: She can pin-point the Brazilian city on the world map.)

P.S.: Thanks to all those who had visited and left kind comments about Summy and her art on my last few infrequent posts. It made me happy and proud of her.

Fireworks

It was all a few splotches and googly eyes on black paper until she told us what it was. The night sky with fireworks in it, and the eyes at the bottom are Kiran, Summy and I watching the fireworks. Then suddenly it was a masterpiece.

She bites!!

I've been quiet for a really long time, after we have moved to our new apartment. But I have to write this down somewhere.

Last night, Summy had crept next to Kiran in the middle of the night and was sleeping on his shoulder. At one point, I was woken up, and Kiran told me "She bit me!!!". It didn't even register, I just went back to sleep.

This morning, I heard the whole story. It seems that she had chomped down on his shoulder, he woke up startled, and found her eyes were still closed and she was still asleep. But she had an apology for him later.

"I'm sorry, Daddy, I thought you were a sandwich." Ofcourse! Why didn't he think of that obvious explanation? According to her, she was just dreaming that she was going to bite into a sandwich, and his shoulder happened to be in the wrong place at the wrong time.

Could that be true? I don't know if that's what really happened, but it seems hilarious (to me, anyway).

Self Portrait

Land of the Friendly

We all miss Massachusetts very much. But, the weather makes it a little easier for us to bear, considering it's topping off in the lower 50s and nighttime temperatures are freezing in Shrewsbury, while here it's going to be 80 degrees tomorrow. Ha ha ha.

Goodbye, Fall jackets, goodbye, "crisp" autumn days. Even though, the beauty of Autumn there makes up for the negatives.

There are a lot more things that are nice here: people are nicer: even drivers. People are very nice in Boston too. But drivers there aren't technically people, they are a different species. Decent people there get behind their wheels and transform into ugly selfish honking monsters. I realize that I am a Mr.Hyde in the car too, only after I drove here for a while.

People wave thank you at me for letting them in front of me every time. They give way to me all the time. They actually act the same way they do when they are not driving! There is much talk about rush hour road rage on the freeways here, but Man, they haven't been to Boston. Ofcourse there are exceptions, but mostly, the drivers seem friendlier to me, even though the driving conditions are very stressful.

And at the Farmers Market, people talk to each other. The shopkeepers call me Amiga and offer good deals. Shoppers next to me trying new vegetables ask me if I like them (the vegetables, not the shoppers).

Last Sunday, I tasted a purple grape before picking them out at the Market. An old man shopping next to me said, "Taste one of the green ones too." I don't like green grapes and I hesitated. "Have one." he ordered. Normally if it were Kiran or my parents telling me to try something new, I would put my foot down. But not to be rude, I tasted a green grape. It was deliciously sweet, and the man smiled with satisfaction. "See?" He said. "The green grapes are the sweet ones today." So I had to buy the green grapes.

Not having been to a real Farmer's Market before, this place is really something else. Musicians playing guitars and singing songs. Juicy peaches, plums, apples, pears, pomegrenate are cut up and put outside the stalls, so you can taste before you buy. And the fruit is usually so sweet it's unnatural. The vegetables, I can't wait to go home and cook. And if all this makes one too hungry to wait until they go home and cook lunch, there are delicious-smelling kettlecorn and freshly-cooked food stalls right there.

Does life get any better? Sometimes it does for Summy, when the face-painting lady sets up a small station with a sign that says "Donations lovingly accepted".

Goodbye, chain grocery stores. Hello, Music and the scent of fruit and flowers in the air, Hello good food, Hello friendly fellow people. The humble-sounding Farmers Market, to me, is an example of what life should be like everywhere.

This and That

Long time no post, but it doesn't mean that there is nothing to write about. Summy is still cute and funny and gives me a lot of things to write about. Just yesterday, while we were watching a movie, someone in the movie had Chicken pox, and she said "Chicken Pops".

She also said something at bedtime that made us laugh a lot, but I can't remember what it is.

She also seems grown up and eager to grow up more (why? why? why?).

I know I wrote a long time ago that she had read her first book, but she didn't read that much for a long time after that. Only now, she is very much into reading small beginner books again.

She seems interested in Math right now, and wants to do Math activities frequently. I am so terrible at teaching it. Even though I always thought Kumon (a learning center for children of all ages) was unnecessary (unless really necessary), I am even starting to think it may be a good idea for her, even though their workbooks seem very dreary to me. Anything is better than me struggling to explain to her why 20 comes after 19.

Counting, adding small numbers, subtracting small numbers under ten, she does. But she has gotten hold of a grade 1 workbook that I bought by mistake, and wants to do coin math, fractions, and telling time. I still have to think for a minute before I can figure out if a dime is five cents or ten, or before I can tell time from an analog clock.

She is doing very well at school. Next month, we will be moving closer to her school, so she will finally be a more regular student. (We are now at least 20 crawling-at-snail's-pace freeway miles away. )

We will be moving to an apartment. For four months we have lived with the basics, and did well. Summy has very rarely remembered or asked for her things. She has made do with whatever was there. Still, it will be nice to see everything back from storage. I can't wait for her to have a room. Somehow, even when we lived in a three bedroom house, we never made up a room just for her.

It was actually more of a struggle for me not to buy her new toys. I love getting her things. I have to remember that she will be reunited with a lot of her old toys again, and that there will be so many that we will probably have to give some away. Especially now that I know she doesn't need them.

She hasn't forgotten her old friends though, and frequently asks when we will go back to see them, and if we can celebrate her next birthday with them.

She misses Shrewsbury when she thinks of it, at the same time, she realizes that we are in a nice place too. "Shrewsbury is very special" she said out of the blue on the drive to school this morning. Then after a minute of thinking - "California is very special too".

Fiery California

A quick update - we are not close to any of the many wildfires that are burning in South California.

Being new here, I didn't even realize that it was wildfire season. We went to SeaWorld in San Diego on Saturday. On the way there, we looked at the houses built into the hills, so close to the trees in the forest, and I wondered why they built them that way.

On Sunday morning, back home, we heard the wind howling through the fireplace, and guessed that it was the notorious Santa Ana winds, coming from the desert. The farmers market was not festive as usual, everybody seemed to be in a hurry to go home and get out of the dry, hot, wind.

Sunday afternoon, we started hearing about wildfires. That evening, we smelled smoke outside. I thought it must be a barbeque, because I couldn't believe that we would smell fires that were atleast forty miles away, even though that's what Kiran suspected.

Monday night, there was no mistaking that it was the smoke from the fires. There were fires burning east of us, and the winds were going west and blowing the smoke right over us.

So now we have wildfires to the north, wildfires to the east, and wildfires to the south. The sky is grey even though it's a sunny day. Summy's class has stopped going out for playground time to avoid the smoke, and is indoors watching movies instead.

The winds are gone now, and we hope the fires burn themselves out soon.

A Step Backwards

As mentioned before, my car has been in the shop, needing repairs, for a while. It is a step backwards in convenience.

But, it has been thousands of steps forward as we discovered that walking is nothing to be dreaded, even with a four-year-old. It might be cliched, but it is as they say: When God closes a door, He opens a window. For us, several windows were opened.

First, I bought a small stroller for Summy. Then we set out, and discovered that the library, which seems so far away driving, is actually only half a mile away. Almost every day we walk to the wonderful library, and stroll down the beautiful tree lined, shop lined small-town street that the library is on.

The grocery stores are less than a mile away too, and walking to them is a breeze, though ofcourse I cannot buy much (or I'd break my back carrying groceries). The movie theatres are right there, if we only chose to go see a movie.

The beach can be walked to too, though I don't walk there often because it's so hard to avoid sunshine there. But we did make it to the beach on the day of Japan America Kite Festival, and had fun looking at interesting kites (and kite dances), listening to music and making our own kite.

I'd never taken Summy to the swimming pool that's right in our apartment complex before the car broke down. But now we go almost everyday, and she loves to twist and turn in the water like a seal!

So when we need to get somewhere far, we rent a car, or use Kiran's. On other days, I hang my big red beach bag on my shoulders, and we go where the road takes us.

Daycare

While the blog hasn't had much activity, things aren't so quiet at home. Summy and I spent a week looking at preschools, and we agreed on one that we both liked (and Kiran approved after visiting). It has large classrooms, many windows, a nice playground, good teachers, a flexible structure, and they were willing to accommodate Summy's vegetarianism (without insisting that I bring in fake chicken if the rest of the kids are having chicken). Most important of all, the kids were friendly and looked happy.

It's called "Tutor Time", but Summy is under the impression that it's "Cuter Time". "Cuter Time" is actually a much better-suited name to the school.

After that, due to my car needing repairs, Summy's attendance at preschool has been only sporadic. But she has adjusted well there.

Life of an "SAHM"

While I was working, I thought that it was a much easier job to be at a full-time job than it was to be a stay-at-home parent. A worker gets a break from work at home, and a break from home at work (a work-at-home parent gets neither). Ofcourse the worker also carries the stress from home to work and vice versa.

Now that I'm temporarily an SAHM, I'm amazed that I used to do most of what I do now, and go to the office. I guess the grass always appears greener on my side of the fence to me. But I can still see why SAHMhood is harder - I'm guessing that we get a lot less appreciation for what we do at home.

Most people realize that you are working hard if you are doing something "important" (meaning it pays real money). Well, taking care of a home and a child is hard work. There is no evidence of the results of the work at the end of the day - the meals are eaten and gone, the cleaned dirty dishes are dirty again, the cleaned up living room is sprinkled with crayons and crumbs and scraps of paper again. All the moments that had been spent making a child happy - the visits to park, the coloring done together, the dressing of the dolls - are gone (hopefully deposited into a happy memories piggy bank somewhere), and all that is left is a cranky sleepy child.

There are no reviews on paper to tell you what a good job you've done. Everybody needs appreciation and acknowledgement of what they do, even if they already know that they are working hard. If you are a stay-at-home mom or dad and are reading this, here is my review. You are doing great at an amazing, demanding, challenging job, and the adorable evidence to this is growing in front of your eyes.

The Apartment

We were lucky enough to have a temporary furnished apartment waiting for us, so we didn't have to unpack anything except clothes so far. It is a nice little place, close to everywhere, and as different as could be from our old house.

What I don't miss:

The space - From 2100 sq ft to 1000 sq ft. And we still don't even step into the second bedroom unless guests are here, and we haven't stored anything there. So effectively, we are in about 700 sq ft and I can't tell the difference.

Wait, I can. Now, I can cook and still watch what Summy is doing on the computer, and talk to her. I can laugh with her while she watches cartoons on TV, and she can draw at the dining table right next to me. I thought I'd miss the huge kitchen we had, but I don't.

It is a very positive difference to not have so many rooms and so much distance between things and people.

How do we manage? It makes it very easy that we don't have all our stuff yet. Once we move to another apartment, receive our things and unpack them, I wouldn't know where to put all of them.

I use as few things as possible, just one set of dishes for each person. Now that I think about it, why would anyone need any more for every day use? To fill up the dishwasher with? Because that's exactly why I used more dishes - to fill up the dishwasher and start a wash cycle. Now I don't even use the dishwasher.

Summy's toys and books - We brought some dolls with us, and here I got her some construction paper, a pair of scissors, crayons, and glue. She has been making projects and that's been keeping her very busy. We got a local library card, and Summy hasn't even opened any of the books that I brought from home. We just read the library books. Now she watches a lot more TV than she used to, but I'm fine with that. This is a holiday for her, after all, and she'll soon be back to a school routine.

What I do miss:

People - Family, friends, all the people we knew we had around even if we didn't see them every day or week.

New England - the trees, the landscape, the hills. There were woods everywhere, shade everywhere. Here, there is no shade, no escaping from the sun (even though it doesn't get very hot). Most of the trees are palms, fashionably tall and slim with carefully arranged leaves on their tops (come to think of it, many of the people here are like that too). This open landscape makes me feel vulnerable, me being allergic to sunlight.

Things - And materialistically, I miss some of our things - I don't miss the house much, but I miss our sheets, towels, my own kitchen knives, things like that. I didn't bring anything personal along except for a few of Summy's toys and books, to make the transition easier for her. Now I think familiar things would have made the transition easier for me, too.

All in all:

Still, we are getting on fine. I don't have a toaster, or a blender, and I just have the basics to cook with, and fresh vegetables and fruit from a wonderful farmer's market a block away. And I cook lunches and dinners, though simple ones, almost every day. Before, I had a large kitchen full of choppers, blenders, toasters, woks, pantry full of groceries and fancy pastes and masalas, and we ate out all the time. Ofcourse then I also had a full-time job!

Yesterday, I asked Summy if she wanted to eat lunch at home or outside, and she picked pasta with broccoli and cheese sauce made by me. I quote her - "Nobody else knows how to make it, not restaurants, not anybody else. Just Mommy makes it." Home is where home-cooked meals are made - so yes, this apartment has become home.

How are we holding up?

Okay, as you can see.

Nothing much has changed in the last two weeks. It's just the opposite coast, a new home, strange weather, a different culture, and an altered lifestyle. That's all :-)

The beach is half a mile away. It's a nice sandy colorful beach with surfers, swimmers, and kites. We've done several things on the beach including building sand structures, getting wet, flying a kite, exploring the pier, walking on the quaint old main street eating ice cream and watching people. Summy, ofcourse, loves the beach.

Everything we do here has been turning into an adventure. For example, yesterday I chose to drive by the coastline instead of driving straight back home from Torrance. The result was that we ended up driving by cliffs on the edge of the ocean. We even found a park on the edge of a cliff, which included breathtaking views of the ocean, a playground for kids, and a small icecream cart pushed along by a man who spoke nothing but Spanish (at which I blanked out on any Spanish I know). Summy looked from the top of the cliffs at the water for a long long time.

Then further on the way back home, guided by a car GPS (without which we would have been completely lost), we passed right through Long Beach harbor without expecting it. I mean on a bridge right through the middle of the harbor, cranes, ships, ocean, and all. Out of blue, into the blue, you could say.

And ofcourse, I don't have pictures of any of this, because I thought it was going to be a long boring drive on the freeway, and didn't bring the camera along.

It's like a new country. When we got here, I didn't even know how to operate the gas pumps, or use my credit cards. Now I'm much better. Kiran, he has the way to the office and back down pat. He has been working non-stop since we got here and hasn't had mucht time to look around.

And Summy? She has adjusted well now, to the time change, to the weather, to being with me all the time in a (relatively) small space, to the idea of going to a new school even.

In the beginning, she did have trouble adjusting to the idea of moving away from "home". She constantly thought of her friends back in Massachusetts. Once, two days into the move, I was driving and she was talking to me. I could hear something that sounded like babble ("boodle boodle"), and kept up a steady "uh huh, uh huh" while concentrating on the traffic. She got my attention only when she wistfully said, "Andrea (her best friend at school) always laughs when I say that."

Now I realize that she has passed the stage where she can be entertained by a grown-up all day. This is why she is always craving the company of kids her age. I don't play her games, I don't get her jokes. Well, some of the time I do both. But other times, I have more "grown-up", "important" stuff to do.

But soon, she'll have a new school (pre-K), and new friends, and I can already see her looking forward to it, even though she is being a little uncharacteristically shy when we go around looking at new schools.

What can we complain of? I am getting time off from work, precious time to spend with Summy, lovely weather all the time, beaches, great restaurants (Indian and otherwise). There is always something to complain of! Lately, I've been complaining to Kiran that my days are too busy :-)

California

Little Hands, Big Ideas

I thought it was just a doodle, until the artist explained it to me.

It's a kitty, sleeping with her tail curled all around her (as kitties do). She is dreaming about eating bread, which she loves (and which you can see in the dream balloon over her head). But instead of bread, the kitty tried to take a bite out of her bed, which is why she has that funny squiggle on her face.

Whew!

Change

We have enjoyed our home in suburban Massachusetts so much (and lived here long enough to learn to spell Massachusetts). Even though we complain about the cold, and how we can have summer and winter weather in the same day, it is so nice to always have a new season to look forward to.

Here is a picture of Summy digging herself out of our driveway in Winter after a snowstorm.

And here she is in Spring, picking out what we grown-ups called weeds.




Here it's Summer, and she's mixed up with the roses.











And here she is in the Fall.











We'll miss all the surprises we see here - the deer that crossed the street, the turkeys that visit occasionally, the baby turtles that take a shortcut across the grass in Spring, even the coyote that we could hear howling last year, and the fox that scurried through the snow in the backyard while we watched amazed. Not to mention the birds, rabbits, and squirrels, all of whose adorable babies frolic in the backyard.

Last Sunday, two weeks before we are to leave, another surprise floated right over our house and toward the horizon.




We will miss our home and all that comes with it, and look forward to the new surprises that a new home will bring.

Finding Home

As we prepare to move and sell our house, I've seen different views of what makes a good home. More bedrooms than the number of people in your household, more living space than you can clean, and hardwoods and granites and stainless steel appliances and tile and sunrooms and fireplaces and vaulted ceilings and decks and jacuzzis and master suites and swimming pools that you didn't even know you wanted until you found out that everybody else wants them (or until you started watching HGTV). More house = more happiness.

Until you meet Sara of livelightlytour. I came across one of her blogs for the first time last October, when she, her husband, and her little daughter had sold their house in Iowa and moved to a little apartment. I was amazed at how she had made such an inviting lovely home out of such a small space.

Since then, they have moved out of Iowa and moved into another small apartment in Bozeman, Montana. Sara (aided by her husband) used her magic to transform the place into a finalist entry in the 2007 Apartment Therapy contest. Now, her family moved out of the apartment, bought an RV, converted its engine to use veggie oil, redid the RV in sustainable materials, and yes - made it into a beautiful home that you would want to move right into. They mean to travel around the country for a year, educating people about sustainable living.

All this time, I never read a word of regret in her blogs about the places they have left behind. Fond memories, yes, but not regret. She has found her home, and it's not in a fixed location or structure. Her home, her place of happiness, seems to be in in being with her husband and daughter, in getting together with friends and family, in making new friends, in doing the things she loves and believes in, and in doing them well.

Here's to Sara!

Surf's Up!

We are moving to South Bay, California. From the Northeast corner of the country to the Southwest. From the Atlantic coast to the Pacific. From a large (for us) house to a small apartment. If that is a big change for us, it's huge for little Summy.

She has lived in this house since she was born, played in the yard, grew tomatoes there, picked flowers, colored on the walls, spilled juice on the carpet :) She has known her friends in daycare since they were babies.

So far, she is thrilled about living close to the beach, about the new apartment, about not having to go to school for a while. She tends to develop strong bonds with people, so she is naturally sad about leaving behind friends and family. She even suggested that it would be a better idea to go there for "just three days" on "bacation" to California and then come back to the old familiar. But now, she has come to terms with this move and has even sorted out her toys and books into ones that will go to California and ones that will be given away.

I know and hope that she will adapt quickly and be happy.

The Note

One afternoon this week, I went to pick up Summy and found the entire class watching Cinderella on TV. They were on the floor, snuggled up with their blankies and teddy bears and friends in their darkened classroom. I thought it was going to be hard to get Summy out of that cozy setting, but she jumped up as soon as she saw me.

When it was time to say Bye to her teacher, she frowned. I found out why when her teacher gave a small piece of paper and asked me to sign it. It was a note! A note is sent home to parents when a child has been naughty. I read it over, signed a copy for the teacher, and brought Summy out to the car.

I hadn't said a word to her about the note, but on the way, Summy broke down and started to cry. "I got a note, Mama!" Apparently she prides herself on being a "good girl" and she could not bear the thought of a note being sent home with her. I told her that one note didn't mean that she was naughty, and that it was okay. But she was not happy. She sat in the back of the car, holding her note and staring sadly at it.

We picked up Kiran from his office. When Kiran asked to see what she was holding, she wouldn't give it to him. She crumpled it into a ball and tossed it to the farthest corner in the back seat.

She reminded me of Becky Thatcher in The Adventures of Tom Sawyer, when she rips a teacher's book and almost gets caught. I felt like Tom Sawyer because I was frequently forgetting things and getting reprimanded by teachers in school, and here was this sensitive little Becky upset because of one note.

Summy's crime: She had used the class crayons to color on a toy and a book.

We reminded Summy that coloring was for paper only, but we didn't push it. We just know that she's never going to do it again.

A New Friend

An imaginary one called Foofoo! It's a baby girl rabbit that Summy "found" in the fridge yesterday morning. She said she didn't want Foofoo to freeze, so she cupped her hands and brought her into the car and to school.

She talked and sang to Foofoo all through the car ride. When she got out of the car at school, she "carried" "her" in. In her classroom, she walked to her cubby, opened it, put "Foofoo" inside, and closed it again.

In the evening, when I picked her up and was about to drive back home, she remembered that Foofoo was still in the cubby. I expected a tantrum to go back to pick up Foofoo. It's bad enough that I go back into the classroom almost everyday to get one forgotten thing or the other. Her teachers probably already think I'm a little funny, without me taking Summy in just to get an imaginary bunny out of the cubby.

But luckily, it turned out that imaginary friends are easier than that. All she had to do was sing, "Little Foofoo, little Foofoo, come out from the cubby into the car" and Foofoo "magicked" herself into the car.

Here's to imaginary magic baby girl bunny friends! :)

Bike to Work Week

It's National Bike to Work Week, as I found out from this post of Sara's.

Now that I've finally learned the joy of riding a bike, I wish I could ride it somewhere, instead of going around in circles in our neighborhood. I've been reading about people who bike to work, and this seems to work well in a city.

Even in my own suburban office, right down my aisle are two people who ride their bicycles to work. But I don't think I could ride eleven miles each way to work. I do hope to see a lot of people on their bicycles though.

I love driving my car. But riding a bicycle really is something else!

It's fun, gliding down slopes, cruising around curves, puffing up hills.

It's slow, and you can look at the flowers in the yards and wave to people as you pass by (Theoretically. As a beginner, if I let go of my handlebar to wave, I'd be landing on my face.)

It's cheap, and all you have to feed it is some air. The only power source of the bike that needs to be refueled is yourself.

It's exercise, but it doesn't feel like punishment.

It's green. Whether you are pro-environment, or for some reason, against it, it feels good to have so much fun with so little guilt.

Now if only I could take my bike somewhere, and make it useful. I am still working on riding it well, before taking it out on missions. But if you have a bike, and if you live close to work, or close to somewhere you'd like to go, maybe you can take this chance to ride your bike there. It would be nice to put a lot of bikes on the road this week. It might remind people that bikes are fun, that they are everywhere and sharing the road with cars (watch out, and drive carefully!).

Here are some bicycle riding and safety tips.

Allergies

Summy is a vegetarian, like Kiran and me. She knows that she is not supposed to eat meat at school, where they give her something meatless when everybody else is having meat or chicken.

She doesn't seem to mind it, though she probably gets curious sometimes. I had a lot of trouble explaining this vegetarianism to her.

First, I just told her we don't like to eat meat. By that, she must have assumed that it doesn't taste good. So when the topic of what others had for lunch came up, she would scrunch up her nose is say, "Yuck! Meat is icky, right?". I can't have her telling her friends their lunch is yucky while they're eating it.

So I expanded a little bit, carefully, and told her meat comes from animals. And we don't like to eat animals, even though there are others who do eat them. But it's still tough. And she'll probably still get in trouble if she tells her friends she doesn't like to eat animals. The kids might not be offended, but the parents might be.

It's actually the same dilemma that we grown-ups have, having to tell that we prefer to be vegetarian for "animal" reasons. From experience, it is hard to explain this without sounding uppity, without offending people, or without having them go defensive.

Luckily we have religion to the rescue. People will argue if we did it because we thought it was the right thing, but they'll let it pass if they think it's got anything to do with religion.

Summy has found an even better way. She came home one day and said "We are allergic to eat meat" as if she had it all figured out.

But this isn't just for meat - it's for everything that she doesn't like. For example, she now says she is "allergic to eat" bananas and chocolate (which, strangely, she doesn't like). The other day, her baby doll in her school cubby had to be replaced with another one, because the old baby doll was "allergic to being in a cubby".

How much before Summy becomes "allergic" to baths, to bedtimes and so on? I don't give it very long.

Expansion of Vocabulary

Ours, that is. We learn so many words from her, and we say them the way she says them.

When she was a year old, she used to say "booy booy" at the sight of any creature that moved. Ants were booy booys, birds were booy booys, dogs were booy booys. So we called everything booy booy too.

Then for a year or two, she said "lullow" instead of "yellow". That was so cute, how could we correct her? Instead, we started saying lullow ourselves (until she grew out of it and started correcting us "Yellow, not lullow.")

We still do this: "automakit"; "mostiquo"; "obvisly"; and so on. We get a little sad when she starts to say the cute words right.

No Worries

She learns all these things that her teachers say to the kids in school, and repeats them.

I guess when one of the kids in the class does something - say, puts paint in his hair - and the other kids complain to the teacher about it, the teacher says back - "Is he putting the paint in your hair?". When they answer "No", I guess the teacher says "Then don't worry about it."

Now she keeps saying this to me. Being bad with memory, I've already forgotten about a couple of instances, but this morning, I said that it looked like it was going to rain. She said, "Are you the raincloud? Then don't worry about it."

The way I put it, it seems flat now. But this morning when she said it, I laughed my head off.

Happy Mothers Day

To all moms who are reading this.

Special wishes to my own mother. We have always been friends, sung songs together, shopped, and laughed a lot. Love you so much, Amma.

For Mothers Day, Summy woke me up grinning, and gave me two beautifully hand-signed cards, and a large frame and an album full of pictures of her and us. Thank you so much, Summy bunch.

Kiran spent long nights picking out digital pictures (we haven't printed out any in two years), and snuck out to print them, frame them and album them, in order to give me a real surprise. Thank you so much, Kirru.

We went to IHOP and had a big brunch. They played together and let me go on a long bicycle ride by myself. Dinner was brought home. I was sent out to a movie with a fellow-mom to enjoy myself.

I feel pampered and happy.

Spiderman 3

I have so many usernames and passwords at work and otherwise, and the inevitable finally happened. I forgot a login.

Last week the username was in my head, this week it's been replaced by a new byte of information, probably the name of a minor character in Spiderman 3. So I don't have access to Kings and Cabbages, my other blog, any more. I can't post to it. People could put in cheeky or spam comments on it and I couldn't delete them. So I disown that blog for now.

So I'm writing about my movie experience here. Yesterday a friend and I went to the 8:30 show of Spiderman 3.

We were ten minutes late, and my friend really likes movie experiences to be whole, from the start of the trivia quiz to the very end of the movie. But I like my movie experiences to be wholesome too, which means I had to stop to get popcorn and soda. Anyway, we sneaked into the door that had the Spiderman poster next to it.

I have to say the movie had taken off to a fast and interesting start. Usually other multiplexes would still be running trailers at that time, but here we were deep into a plot already. We were a little lost about the story, but how much could we have missed in ten minutes?

My friend and I were quick to figure things out. Less than an hour into the movie, as the end credits were running up the screen, we smartly put things together and realized that we were probably in the wrong show.

It was the 7:00 show. We solved our whole movie problem by sneaking into the 9:45 showing of Spiderman, watching the trailers, and the movie right upto where we had seen it before, and left.

On the surface, it might seem that we were too incompetent to figure out the right theater. The tickets said room 9 - we read them upside down and went into 6. Actually, that isn't true. Room 6 was playing a different movie. But room 7 was playing Spiderman, and we figured that 7 was close enough and went into 7.

Thinking back, we were lucky we ever made it to the Multiplex, instead of driving to DSW Shoe Warehouse (which was right next door) and watching the shoes.

But the important thing is, we accidentally discovered the perfect way to watch Spiderman. The last hour. We knew enough from the Spiderman trailer to figure out what was going on, and it was short enough so we were not bored. Re-watching the first half of Spiderman added nothing to the entertainment, and it wasn't because we knew how it ended.

If we had to do it again, I would skip the first part of the movie, and see the last parts of one or two other movies instead, and make the most of it.

This has little to do with Chinuku and everything to do with my junk drawer "Kings and Cabbages", but here it goes temporarily.

Ready to Read

Sameera read her first book, her long time favorite "Biscuit".

Recently she has been sitting with her books for more than 15 minutes at a time and "reading" them very intensely. Finally, yesterday, something in her head must have gone "click" and she realized she could read. Yesterday morning, she read the word "Apple" and said "Look, it's says 'APPLIE'! It has an e in the end!"

Last night, I started to read "Biscuit", but she put her little finger under the words and started to read them herself. She went on to the very last page with a little prompting from me, a little knowledge of phonics, and a little bit of guessing. (she can recite that book by rote anyway).

What a great feeling it must be, to be able to make sense of the words by herself. She read three more beginner reader books this morning, with prompting from me.

First Bicycle Ride

I've looked forward to this for a long time, even dreamt about it. Finally, we got a new bicycle, and went off to the local school parking lot to practice. Kiran looked forward to teaching his girl how to ride a bicycle.

After an afternoon of practising, she took off onto the sidewalk and went for a ride in the neighborhood, all by herself.

And by she, I mean me :), because it wasn't Summy who was learning to ride this last Sunday, it was me.

I wasn't exactly learning to ride, because my father taught me this years ago, running behind me as I sped on a sloping road. But I never did get the confidence to go for rides by myself when I was smaller.

Kiran recently got himself a motorbike, and he's even riding it to work. He was having so much fun that I wanted to ride my own bicycle. This Sunday, after a quick refresher course by Kiran, I did go for a ride by myself around the local roads. It was great!

Summy, ofcourse, has her own bicycle with training wheels which she's been riding for a year. She's the athletic kind of girl (I've never been) and is good at this kind of thing.

So this week, in the national bike month, we became a family of bikers.