Mom Brain

It was a hectic morning a month ago. Kiran and I were getting Summy ready for school. I hold the baby while Kiran helps Summy get ready. Kiran holds Pranav while I get her breakfast ready.

On this day, Summy got a spill on her school uniform shirt. Kiran was washing her shirt at the kitchen sink. Getting worried about the time, I suddenly realized that Kiran was not holding Pranav. I was instantly irritated with him for having left Pranav alone on the floor. I looked around and didn't see Pranav on the floor, or in his exersaucer. I looked at Summy, and no, she didn't have him either.

Where was he? I imagined him being left alone on the bed, to fall off the edge. Maybe he went under the sofa? (he did that once before). Panicking, I yelled. "Where is Pranav? Who's watching him?"

Summy smiled and said, "Mommy, you are holding Pranav." Sure enough, there he was on my hip, his face close to mine, peering into my face with an amused expression.

Don't tell me something like this never happened to you!

On the Job 24x7

I work on the laptop in the middle of the night, sitting at the foot of the bed. Pranav sleeps on the bed.

I feel a movement and look up at the baby. His eyes seem closed, but I know better from experience. In the dark,the line where his eyelids meet his lower eyelashes is a thick black line. This means that his eyes are open to the tiniest little slit and he is looking at me through it. I wait for a few seconds, and sure enough, he kicks his leg up in irritation. I know what he is thinking: Why wasn't I at his side yet?

Then he turns his eyes a little and notices the laptop. Right away, he rolls over onto his tummy and sits up. He turns around, his eyes still only slits, and starts crawling to the laptop. Even in sleep, he thinks it's his duty to explore this usually out-of-reach device and maybe chew on it some.

I hurriedly shut the laptop, jump to his side and put him back on his back to sleep. He never forgets his job as a baby.

Making Memories Last

I started this blog when Summy was a year old. That was when she was big enough for me to have a little time to myself, and also old enough to provide me with lots of material to write about. I spent last night reading my old entries and laughing - it seems the funniest age was when she was two to three years old.

Not that Pranav is not funny now at eight months old. But there are no darnedest things that he says - and it's when they just start talking that kids are at their funniest.

An eight month old is just extreme sweetness. I enjoy my time at home and spend the whole day with Pranav (I didn't get to do that with Summy), and I laugh a lot, but I can't really explain why I do. There are his comical and goofy expressions, his sucking on my chin, and more things I can't remember. I wish I could save all this, because I only now remember baby Summy being this sweet - all this time I'd forgotten about what she was like as a baby. I'm afraid I might forget with Pranav too. So I make entries that might seem banal, just because I don't want to forget the little details.

Sense of Humor

I remember Summy had an early sense of humor. Maybe all babies do. Anyway, Pranav has one too. He laughs such big laughs for such a little person. Especially when big sister is around.

She panted like a puppy while holding a piece of cloth in her mouth one day recently. He thought it was so hilarious, he would burst out laughing at just the sight of her, that whole day. She enjoys being his clown, and he enjoys her antics.

Also, sometimes he laughs just because I laugh. It escalates quickly, because it makes me laugh more to see him laugh with me, and that makes him laugh even more, and so on, until we are both in fits. I do not remember that eight month olds are this social, though I remember having the same kind of experience with Summy when she was older.

Sweet package

It took this long to settle in to our new home. Four months- they go by so fast for me, and Pranav learns to do more in these four months than I have learned in four years. And then some more.

I love all that he is doing. But what I love most is how he loves me. Summy is seven, and I know that it's only for a short while that a baby is so attached to a mother, that they are practically one person, not two.

Someone is holding him, and he's quite happy. But then he sees me, and starts to bounce. There is happiness on his face, so happy to see me. But there is also anxiety that he might not be handed over to me, or that I might walk away without taking him. He let's out a sound that's half laughter and half cry. Kiran is the one other person that he is comfortable being with indefinitely ( until he gets hungry).

I know it will not last long. But for now we are one, though he's not physically attached to me. I take him where I go. I enjoy his smiles, his chewing on my chin, his snuggling smilingly but shyly into my shoulder when a stranger talks to him.

How sweet it is.